The memory of an incident that I experienced with bias, prejudice and/or oppression is:
When my 18 year old son was in the 8th grade, he played football, basketball, ran track and played baseball at the park. While playing football, he was injured by another player from the other team and his collar bone was broken, so he was under a doctors care for 4 weeks. At the beginning of the 4th week, basketball tryouts were held, so we got a note from the doctor releasing him and stating that hwe was able to tryout and play basketball.
All of the young men that tried out were given one full week to participate with tryouts, however my son was only given two days, per the coach and then was denied a position on the team, although he had played the year before and was named, "The student athlete of the year in 7th grade."
So, I requested a meeting with the athletic director and the coach, to find out what happened and why was he treated unfairly compared to the other boys. The athletic director and coach were only expecting me and my son to attend the meeting, however my husband at the last minute arrived at the school to sit in on the meeting and as the meeting began, the comment was made to me, "Mrs. Gardner, we were not expecting Mr. Gardner. We thought that we could solve the problem without him." My husband then spoke and said, "I just want to make sure that the situation is treated fair and everything is resolved."
To make the long story short, my son was able to play ball, the coach was reprimanded by the athletic director, because my son should have been given the same time as the others. Also, the coach made the comment to my son, "I want another student to be elected, "The student athlete of the year and not you two years in a row."
I feel that not only my son, but myself as well were treated unfairly and in my judgment, I feel that the coach was jealous of my son and his talents on the field as well as the classroom. If I were the coach, I would have used my son as a role model for other young men, who made be having a hard time in the classroom or on the field. The coach needs to learn how to support all students and not feel the way he felt. I would have paired students together that needed help, so that everyone could have an extra hand in the learning, so that he could remain eligible to play sports in middle school.
Lori,
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing.
There are so many biases in athletics. If the coach doesn't want someone to play, they won't play. My older brother was in athletics ever since I can remember. While I never witnessed any biases, I'm almost sure they were present.
Thanks again for sharing.
Hi Lori,
ReplyDeleteMy son was an excellent anthlete, but we moved to an area were the football teams were only orginized in European American area the problems started.
He was invisible to the coach because of his race and because the coach was promoting is own son. My son sat on the bench for three games when the coach finally let him play the last ten minutes of the fourth game he assisted in scoring two touch downs. The team fathers did not allow the coach to sit him out again.
Lori,
ReplyDeleteYour story was filled with lots of examples of oppression, bias, and prejudice! Sadly, I do not think you are alone. I have heard of many high school coaches both male and female who clearly exhibit favoritism. I am really glad that we have the No Pass No Play law in our state. This was a big issue when I was in high school. This coach obviously had some personal issues against your son, but I am glad that you and your husband put up a fight.
Wow - and why wouldnt your husband have the right to attend a meeting about is own son?! It sounds like they may need to reeducate or find another director. It is sad that even in the school system personal choices and bias affect our children. I am glad to hear that your son was allowed to play.
ReplyDelete