I have problems communicating with my 19 year old son. He thinks he knows everything and some of the choices that he is making currently in his life are not good ones. If I say something to him, he swears that I don't know anything, he says "Ma, your are from the old school and this is new school."
So I have been biting my tongue and I am letting him spread his wings and fly on his own. I told him in order to live in my house he either needed to enroll in college and/or get a job, so guess what he decided to do. Move out without doing either one.
All I can do is pray that God keeps him safe and sound from any hurt, harm or danger. Hwever, it is hard for me not to express my voice, because he is my son. Any suggestions?
Hey Lori, I feel you. I have a fifteen year old daughter and a fourteen year old son and it gets hard with them sometime because like you say they think they know everything but I told mine that when they get out into the real world they are going to wish they have enjoyed their childhood life instead of wishing they were a certain age. Good luck with your son and the only thing we can do is just keep praying for them.
ReplyDeleteI can relate to you situation Lori, I also have a teenage daughter that I often have trouble communicating with. Both my husband and I had to go to counceling to learn ways to work with her, at it has actually worked. I learned not to take things personally, before everything she would say would either hurt me or make me very angry. I needed to control my emotions and not have her do it for me. I also started to practice a lot of the skills we are learing about conflict resolution and actually listening to her, and this has help a lot. Try it, if he has desided to leave the house reinforse that you love him very much and your house is open for when he is able to follow your rules. Rules that help everyone feel safe and respected.
ReplyDeleteLori,
ReplyDeleteI can relate my son to is 19 years old and was given the choice to follow house rules or he had to move out. He too chose to move out, though he is in college there are still some choices that he has made that I totally do not agree with, but I too have decided to allow him to grow up and be a man. And YESS!!!! it is so hard not to tell him that he can come back home so that I know that he is safe, but that will not help him. I think that we are defintely communicating with them it is just not in the way that we would like. We will always be mothers and wanting to do everything that we can to protect our children. You are doing the best pray because only God can be with them 24 hours a day and 7 days a week.
Lori,
ReplyDeleteI think you chose the best strategy in this world which is prayer . I could relate with this because I was once 19 and at this age children feel they are independent and that they don't need there parents opinions anymore . Please don't give up on him , call him everyday and tell him that you love and care about him.Also make sure you keep the communication going between the two of you .I wish you well.